After spending time in Wyoming, after driving across Montana, after another weekend at the cabin on Lake Riley, I'm convinced that the longing in my heart to live as closely immersed in nature as I can is here to stay. Whether it's a summer home, decades into the future, or a move in the next few years I don't know, but I just think that I could be very happy living in some one room cabin perfectly situated near water and open sky for an extended period of time. So there is another dream to add the huge pile already under my pillow (Want everything. If you break break going out not in. -Ondaatje).
The Wyoming trip was remarkable. The whole drive there went by in a blink for me, the combination of the scenery I couldn't take my eyes off of, Justin's company and his xm radio made the two day journey fly by. Tuesday night we arrived just in time for dinner and I was overwhelmed in the absolute best way possible by the flurry of an extended family sit down dinner. I will always be comfortable in a home full of kids and love, family. I wrote in my journal that night how after just a few hours with the Carrel family they had my affection. Justin had all of these plans for us, hiking and fishing and spelunking and more, the first thing we did was to go 4 wheeling in the badlands. Because I've already recounted it so many times I'll give you the short of it- I flipped and rolled (sideways and forward) my 4 wheeler, broke my right hand and separated my right shoulder, have a cast and a sling and a lot of vicodin. The healing of my shoulder will take an indefinite amount of time, for now and for the next few weeks I can't do anything that involves putting weight on or raising my arm (work, drive, do my own hair), I'm in pain all of the time, and my constantly on the go life has slowed dramatically to spending the weekday alone in my house and my weeknight depending on my friends (who have been wonderful). I'm saying this here not to garner pity or well-wishes, but because I'm sure this event and it's effects will be necessary knowledge to understanding future posts here. ANYWAY.
After the injury the trip was still so wonderful. For one thing I fell even more in love with his family. They were incredibly kind and accommodating and are these impressive people to get to know. We managed to do some fishing and hiking anyway and I got to see more beautiful scenery and Justin proved to be a great tour guide and nurse. In fact, after I returned last Sunday I felt a little bit lost without him knowing exactly how to give me my pills, help me put on sweatshirts, adjust my sling, etc.
I've tried to keep the discouragement at bay by stretching my mind and intellect. Last week was a great week for constantly refreshing cnn.com and reading up on the basics of economics, it's been 5 years since I took econ in high school. Also, after a few years of somewhat passively disagreeing with or being unsure of some of the concepts of the modern American Church I am confronting and researching these things. I am conducting this 'journey' under the knowledge that in my heart, soul and spirit I know that God is real and good and loving and infinite and a judge of absolute truth, that Jesus came to earth and was Divine, that the Resurrection was atonement and mankind's saving grace, and that even if I have a question or objection that I can't wrap my mind around I will, and actively do, choose my faith over a logical roadblock. I've been reading A Case for Faith (Lee Strobel) which has been answering questions and inspiring new ones and once I can get my thoughts in order I'm sure some musings while on vicodin will appear here.
In reference to the last time I wrote, I was cast alongside several of my best friends in Company. It's going to be a great show and great cast.
Amor,
K
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