dreams

I wake up and keep my eyes closed, try to force my mind to stay in that sleep stage, like Heathcliff throwing up the window yelling for Catherine. "Come back to me." I am always grasping at you, always. Even now I can't recall your height or the color of your eyes, I can't quite picture your mouth but when you're in my dreams you're whole and everything is exactly as you are- apparently blocked from my mind and running about my subconscious. I can't believe how much you've wrecked me. I just really miss you tonight, and I wish you'd been more careful with my heart.

There is never peace in my soul. I wander all over looking for it- physically, mentally, emotionally. Nothing ever stays still for me, my heart leaps all over the place. It looks like this fall I'm finally packing up and travelling... I need it. I can't breathe here anymore. I'm going to be in California in a couple weeks, and I'm so relieved for a bit of an escape.