It is impossible to settle now, when you've stood next to someone and felt naked, your soul completely exposed to their eyes in the best, most honest kind of way. And now I feel so my own person in a way I haven't felt for years and I am not willing to give that up. It sounds strange to explain it, but I feel like my arms are my own, I feel like my hands and legs and every other part of my body; my heart, mind and soul only belong to me. Because there was always someone, usually the same person, who I felt my hands (et al) missing, or my eyes looking for. Now I just look for the sky and the water. Anthony told me I'm a fire sign, and that just proves to me that astrology is a crock because if I'm anything I'm a water sign. I think of the ocean constantly. I hate to be away from sea water, it makes me very uncomfortable.

I feel outside of people, and not in a negative way. I've had all of these thoughts bubbling and rolling around inside me and I'm so content to just keep them to myself and think through them. And honestly, it's all a little bit narcissistic, but being that I'm 21 and my only responsibility is a puppy I guess that's okay. I go through these slightly reclusive periods of time and all of this art comes out of me. Most of it is mediocre, but it makes me feel better and gives me a release.

Jessica is on her way over and we're going to get coffee and run some errands together. I am so thankful for the girlfriends in my life. I am surrounded by this group of amazing women and it saves me. Amor!

K