Coming home has always hurt so much. Maybe it's about time to change the place I call home.

dreams

I wake up and keep my eyes closed, try to force my mind to stay in that sleep stage, like Heathcliff throwing up the window yelling for Catherine. "Come back to me." I am always grasping at you, always. Even now I can't recall your height or the color of your eyes, I can't quite picture your mouth but when you're in my dreams you're whole and everything is exactly as you are- apparently blocked from my mind and running about my subconscious. I can't believe how much you've wrecked me. I just really miss you tonight, and I wish you'd been more careful with my heart.

There is never peace in my soul. I wander all over looking for it- physically, mentally, emotionally. Nothing ever stays still for me, my heart leaps all over the place. It looks like this fall I'm finally packing up and travelling... I need it. I can't breathe here anymore. I'm going to be in California in a couple weeks, and I'm so relieved for a bit of an escape.

New Years Eve

Lauren, Melis, Me

Champagne

Jr, moi

Lauren laughing, Taylor peacing

I love this, my two best friends.

I think we were gossipping...

It just started snowing again. I think most people would prefer it not, but I'm fine with it. The Dogwood is gorgeous, all covered with snow. I'm on an upswing right now, things are positive. Have best friends around you, listen to Jakob Dylan Pandora Radio, drink Kahlua when it snows, watch all three X-Men movies, look at dailycoyote.net, and think love. It saves your soul a bit.