I've put the Big Emotional Writing Project on hold, let the interested party know it's incomplete and probably going to stay that way for a bit. I just can't finish it and have it be mediocre, and lately I'm not interested in turning up all of the emotional stuff that goes along with it, that the piece deserves. I've been close enough to the tortured artist and I know it's no way to live, so as long as my days are so full of sunshine I'll leave them that way. I'll finish it someday, when I find myself in a place where I feel I can tackle it all without compromising myself.
The past year, especially the past 6 or 7 months, have been the most progressive of my life. I've learned a lot about the world and even more about myself, about how I relate to the world. Every time I think about the future I get butterflies in my stomach, I really think that some amazing things are on the horizon. Adventure and growth and love and peace. I think I'm kind of doing this thing though, maybe pushing people away right now so it will be easier to leave. I have a genuine affection for this town and the people in, and in the summer there is nowhere more beautiful than the Pacific Northwest. Some days I want to want the suburban life so many of friends are happy with- the whole get a job get married be domestic thing- but I've always known convention wasn't for me. I don't know, maybe I'll surprise myself somewhere down the road, and that will be fine and all, but in the meantime I just want to travel to beautiful places and meet beautiful souls.
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